10 Tips for Holiday Survival with Young Children

1. Do your holiday shopping online.

Whether you just had your baby last week, six months ago, or ten years ago, buying anything that you can online will save you the time, energy, and endless fights over what your child wants right then and there (because lord knows they cannot wait that extra four weeks for Santa).  You also can score some really great deals that might not be available in the store.  If you did just have your baby last week, holiday shopping has probably had you stressed! You just had a baby so your hormones are wild, your bank account is low, you're tired and cranky, and now you have your little hoover on you for what feels like 24/7.  Shop online and don't feel guilty about not seeing the inside of Walmart and all of its insanity. 

2. Stop the gift card guilt.

Along the same lines as the last tip, stop putting so much pressure on yourself to find that "perfect gift" for Aunt Ethel.   If the only store you make it to is the grocery store or pharmacy, Aunt Ethel will have to settle for a Target gift card or get nothing at all.  Let your family buy what they want, when they want.  I don't believe in buying something just to buy something, it's a waste of money on your end and then that person has to either stare at the gift in the corner of their house for the next year (because they keep forgetting to return it) or they have to return it and lose time out of their life.  No shame in gift card game.

3. Keep your kids close.

This is more for those with younger children: kids like routines.  The holidays throw off these routines.  New people, new places, new toys... they can become uncertain in many ways.  If you have a child who can fit in the baby carrier, wear that puppy around everywhere! Not only will your baby find comfort in being with you and touching you, but it will also deter Great Uncle Greg from kissing you or your baby too much.  If you have an older child, they also might be feeling stressed because of the change in routines.  Spend some extra time snuggling and reading with them at night to let them know that they are your main priority, always.

4. Blame your doctor.

It's the time of illness. No matter the age of the child, the thought of having a sick kid on Christmas is sad.  So while I'd love to say "don't let them leave the house" that's not really practical.  For your older kids, really reinforce the importance of hand washing and not sharing drinks or food with friends.  For your newborns, politely tell family and friends that the doctor has discouraged you from having too many people touch or hold the baby for fear of illness.  If they don't like it, too bad. Your child's health is more important than their need to kiss your brand new baby.

5. Be on the same team.

Raise your hand if you're guilty of lashing out on your partner over the direction that they placed a knife on one place setting at the table! Is it just me? Can't be.  Tension runs high at the holidays. You and your partner have the same goal at the end of the day: making sure your family and children have a wonderful holiday season.  Realize that you're fighting on the same team for the same goal. Take a step back if you feel overwhelmed.  Retreat. Give yourself a moment to say "whoa, calm yourself Sally," and move on.  Don't hold grudges and remember why you're doing what you're doing in the first place. 

6. Learn to say no.

It's okay if you can't meet your friends to see Santa with their kids for the 90th time this year.  Your kids are no worse for the wear.  In fact, I think my five year old has caught on that Santa doesn't always look the same when we see him and that there is no way he can be everywhere that we tell her he is.  My advice: just say no.  You don't have to go to every holiday party or Christmas gathering.  Say no.  You don't have to travel to every distant relatives house to see them on Christmas day.  Say no.  You are the ruler of your own life and you have the power to just simply say no.  No explanation needed (unless that argument is with your partner, then talk it out).

7. Learn to say yes.

On the other hand, learn to say yes.  You're not superwoman.  No matter how old your kid is, sometimes you just need a minute.  You're neighbor wants to cook you a casserole because it makes her happy? Yes.  Your mom wants to take the kids to see a movie? Sure.  Your sister wants to come over and hold the baby so that you can nap.  Yes.  We all need help sometimes and just remind yourself that you either have helped those same people or will help them in the future.  That's what family (or framily {friends who are family}) does.  

8. Make plans and prepare.

Whenever traveling with a newborn, toddler, preschooler, or school age child, preparation will be your best friend.  If you know you will be traveling for the holidays, don't wait until the night before you're supposed to leave to pack.  If you're supposed to be at your sisters house at 12:00, don't start to shower at 11:45. Planning will help to alleviate some of the stress and maybe reduce some arguments between yourself and your partner.  Time it out: we have to be fed/nursed by this time, we have to be dressed by this time, we have to be in the car by this time, and barring any traffic we will arrive by this time.  It just helps.

9. Find a quiet space.

If you're on your home turf, this could be your bedroom. Find somewhere to escape, to retreat when you have had enough.  If you are still nursing, use it as an excuse to give yourself a minute to clear your head (not to mention that oxytocin will make you super calm!). When you're not in your own home, look for a quiet room where you can go with your baby or children if they are also feeling overwhelmed just to regroup.  

10. Ride the wave.

I still don't have this one down pat, but kids have made it better.  Realize that no matter how much you plan and prepare, there will be snafus.  The dog will all the sudden decide it can't walk, the kids will start puking, the gifts your ordered didn't arrive in time.  Things happen.  We can try our hardest, but life gets in the way.  So realize that you need to ride the wave.  Roll with it.  If you allow yourself to get so overwhelmed by what went wrong, you'll miss what you have going right.  

You got this mama.